I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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