You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
