i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
