Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
