normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
