Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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