That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
