so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
