Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
