is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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