these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
