Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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