my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
