She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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