Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
