Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i dont even know how to be here
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize