im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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