I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This is my gift to your gina
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
