Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
