Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
