my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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