and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
