no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
