playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
