White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
