remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
