Three words: puerto rican gang bang
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
