How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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