I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
