College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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