There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
