i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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