I didn't shave. On purpose
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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