No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
