She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
