I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
