It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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