My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's never too late to be topless.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
