Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
