so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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