Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
