I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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