if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
