It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
