I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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