My first STD was from a foam party
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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