Ketchup is God's man juice
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
