wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
