you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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