In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
