I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
