im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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