There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
